| Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. | Mark Twain |
| I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. | Mark Twain |
| I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. | Mark Twain |
| The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. | Mark Twain |
| The very ink in which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. | Mark Twain |